The Weekly will return Maintaining Britain's Standards wholly © the weekly science combine "I must learn," gnawed the earl at his knuckle "What's 'Mony a mickle maks a muckle'." He spared no expense But it still made no sense So he took to his wife with a buckle. limerick archive Sir: I accept that you edit letters for reasons of space, but surely that is the only valid reason for cutting the words of a correspondent? Also see everyone one Can that I am a bottom, sincerely. Baxter Tomato Clay Cross letters from the editor archive The pound is holding steady against the evil pound. state of the pound archive The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871. "I'd like to thank my milkman for the two extra pints this morning," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement. MR NASH added: "That urchin stole my gruel." * Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than a handful of unsatisfactory employees and some readers. The Adventures of Sexton Blake The Weekly Science Combine accidentally writes a wireless serial of improving thrills for the BBC Light Programme. (Now available in electric record and ethereal versions.) blake archive Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance. feature archive search science Cookery Corridor Another smashing recipe from Mrs Beefy. Today - baboon. I Am The Librarian An introduction to your community library. Previously In The Weekly The exciting story so far. Telegraph-text One hundred pages of information and distraction from The Weekly's pioneering telegraph-text service. By the Combine, MR S HOBBS, MR H PATERSON and MR M SULLIVAN. (Javascript- only.) feature archive Meeting the Neighbours "Good lord! (Choke.) The working class!" hurrah/bah archive full profile This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom. corner shop Game: Extendy! Played chiefly in: Chertsey. Objective: Be the last player remaining in the game by "extending" it beyond all natural levels of interest and skill. Players can add new rules and goals arbitrarily, directly contradicting earlier ones if they like, with the sole purpose of driving what entertainment value the game may once have possessed deeply into the cold, cold ground and causing everyone else to give up in broken dismay. Obstacles: Death. A properly run game of Extendy! with a full set of obdurately self-destructive players can run for up to 117 years, and nothing upsets a participant more than another dropping dead before they've officially resigned. Rating: Not a spectator favourite. heritage of games archive Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety.    Sign up now and keep TRICKY JOHNNY DEADFELLOW in his place. BRITONS, DO YOUR DUTY. Current scores - Dead: 5,952. Living: 8,005. join the fight advertising-announcement archive The All-New Catalogue Of Errors Tenors' Tennis The Tadpole Bather The Egg And Fly Whisk Sleeping Bag Plus further excellent purchases archive Former Colonials! Dispel your dizziness and disorientation in a manner traditional to your quaint and amusing hamlet. Inspect the archives for all that you may have missed while tardy or haemorrhaging.