Welcome to the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Here you may indulge your shameful consumerist needs, provided these needs are quite narrowly defined as an irrational urge for T-shaped shirts and improving books. Make your way around the shelves provided and try not to knock over the butter. Your basket | P&P | Discount code | Instructions Book (all editions) | Love Book (all editions) | Chemistry Book (all editions) | Things Book (all editions) | Digiworld Offline | Shirt details | The "Terrific" shirt | The "Splendid" shirt | Special offer | Payment FAQ | Contact Your basket is empty. (Note - maximum of 5 items per order. It's not that large a basket.) Top | Contact We send items by first-class post within Britain and by airmail to the rest of the world. (See the payment FAQ for which countries we're permitted to recognise.) Please allow 14 days for delivery. Our crack team of moderately trained urchins endeavour in their fleetness, and MR MILLINGTON bicycles like the devil to reach the post-box, the whole of a view to despatch your order within 48 hours, but there may be unforeseen delays. (For example, while reordering stock.) We'll e-mail you with any such news, but as a rule of thumb if you haven't received your items in 5 days (10 for "rest of world" deliveries), contact us with your order number. First-class in Britain (including Ire-land) Airmail to rest of world Top | Contact If you have a discount code for the Corner Shop, type it here to receive a discount on any T-shaped shirts in your order. (MR MILLINGTON's improving books are regrettably exempt from the discount as he is repaying criminals.) Digiworld special friends should give their username as the code. (Note: if you registered but didn't pay to be a special friend, your username will not work, you eel.) We do check for international socialists trying it on by sharing or pickpocketing codes, so take some MANLY EXERCISE if you are tempted. Type your discount code into the attractive rectangle. Top | Contact   Original Edition   MR MILLINGTON has paused in his axe frenzy to endorse the thrilling new papered-back edition of his fourth comedy-novel for sale in the THE WEEKLY CORNER SHOP corner shop. "I cannot deny my fans," he explains. "Also, the rubbery grip has perished." Consequently, the book is now not only available from the bookshops MR MILLINGTON is single-handedly attempting to save by chasing people into them with an axe, but also in the Original Edition via Amazon and Play and here in its new, more beigely covered form. In celebration we have purchased him a small present, which by some mischance at the tills is a bayonet. MR MILLINGTON will next be chasing people into bookshops with an axe in fifteen seconds or fewer. The "Instructions" book is £4.20 per copy (plus £2.15 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life is also available in an inscribed edition, individually hand-signed by MR MILLINGTON with the dedication of your choice. The price of a signed book reflects the exclusivity and heirloom value of this treasured collectible. The "Instructions" book (signed edition) is £4.17 per copy (plus £2.15 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) Top | Contact   US Edition   MR MILLINGTON's third comedy-novel appears to bear out the theory that he's found his natural level of writing-length, ie about a mile wide (hence the P&P consistent with A Certain Chemistry). From the few crackling garbles we managed to discern through his posh speaking-trumpet as he passed in an exotic steam-boat, we gather the book to be about randomly surviving a catastrophe. Once again, it would be best for all concerned if you were to purchase the book by striding into the nearest book-shop (RRP £7); but if you are hell-bent on buying the thing from your sloping desk, we invite you to do so here. Now available in bracingly thick papered-back and US papered-back editions. The "Love" book is £4.20 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) The "Love" book (US edition) is £4.20 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (10 in stock) Love and Other Near-Death Experiences is also available in an inscribed edition, individually hand-signed by MR MILLINGTON with the dedication of your choice. The price of a signed book reflects the exclusivity and heirloom value of this treasured collectible. The "Love" book (signed edition) is £4.17 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (4 in stock) The "Love" book (signed US edition) is £4.17 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (10 in stock) Top | Contact   US Edition   MR MILLINGTON's second comedy-novel is 30% longer than Things (hence the higher P&P) and seems to be about a man hired to ghost-write a celebrity's autobiography, or something. As usual, it would be best for all concerned if you were to walk into a shop with your legs and buy the book there (RRP £7), but if you must purchase these things online, you may as well do so here. Now available in wedgingly thick papered-back and US papered-back editions. The "Chemistry" book is £4.20 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) The "Chemistry" book (US edition) is £4.20 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (7 in stock) A Certain Chemistry is also available in an inscribed edition, individually hand-signed by MR MILLINGTON with the dedication of your choice. The price of a signed book reflects the exclusivity and heirloom value of this treasured collectible. The "Chemistry" book (signed) is £4.17 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) The "Chemistry" book (signed US edition) is £4.17 per copy (plus £2 P&P UK). Add  to basket (7 in stock) Top | Contact US Edition German Edition Dutch Edition MR MILLINGTON's first comedy-novel. Most copies are now in the hands of private collectors, though we have secured a limited stock of the translated editions through burglary. The German Edition omits the jokes, reducing the book to 400 pages of screaming. The Dutch Edition may include additional pornography. There is also a Swedish Edition that we could not obtain because of a hound in the garden. The savage, guttural US Edition is sold out. Some may still be available from Amazon. The "Things" book is £4 per copy (plus £1.20 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) The "Things" book (German Edition) is £4 per copy (plus £1.50 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) The "Things" book (Dutch Edition) is £4 per copy (plus £1.50 P&P UK). Add  to basket (1 in stock) Things - The Book is also available in an inscribed edition, individually hand-signed by MR MILLINGTON with the dedication of your choice. The price of a signed book reflects the exclusivity and heirloom value of this treasured collectible. The "Things" book (signed) is £3.97 per copy (plus £1.20 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) The "Things" book (signed German Edition) is £3.97 per copy (plus £1.50 P&P UK). Add  to basket (5 in stock) The "Things" book (signed Dutch Edition) is £3.97 per copy (plus £1.50 P&P UK). Add  to basket (1 in stock) Top | Contact If you've downloaded and enjoyed Digiworld Offline but weren't a Digiworld spesh friend, you can pay the shareware fee here. As a barely measurable incentive, you'll also receive a discount code for any later T-shirt purchases. (This is purely an electric item, so there's no need to supply a postal address. Your discount code will be despatched by e-mail.) The Digiworld Offline fee is £4. Add  to basket (10 in stock) Top | Contact The Corner Shop's T-shaped shirts are Gildan Ultra (200gsm) or, for the "Splendid," Gildan Heavy (185gsm) cotton and are printed by those CHAMPIONS OF FABRIC Links, whose chief scientist has glowingly described The Weekly as "my most bothersome customer." Huzzah! Shirt sizes are around 36" (S), 42" (M), 44" (L), 48" (XL) and 52" (XXL). If you want to compare them against your own T-shirts using Gildan's half-chest chart, lay out your shirt flat on its back and measure from bottom corner to bottom corner. Using the chart, our sizes correspond to about 20" (M), 22" (L) and 24" (XL). The skinny-fit/sunken consumptive F shirt is "one size" and measures about 16" on the half-chest scale. Top | Contact Express your BRITON'S GUILT with this soothing grey ("Ash") non-hair T-shirt. Black text, white figure, no back print. The "Terrific" is £10 per shirt (plus £1 P&P UK). Add  to basket (4 in stock) (Anonymous report for out-of-stock item so we can gauge interest.) (Anonymous report for out-of-stock item so we can gauge interest.) Add  to basket (1 in stock) (Skinny-fit for ladies or the opium-raddled. Note that this size is a darker grey.) Top | Contact Front and back prints Engender bewilderment with the famously parochial red T-shirt. A mixture of black text and white text, with characters picked out in white for thrilling contrast. Special offer! Order more than one item and we'll discount every "Splendid" in your basket by a splendid 20% - that's £2 off the usual price. The discount is applied automatically and appears in the basket as "Splendid Garb Barg." The "Splendid" is £10 per shirt (plus £1 P&P UK). Add  to basket (7 in stock) Top | Contact The Corner Shop uses tills operated by Paypal. You can read some extra information about this fine upstanding electro-company, including the list of countries we're permitted by Paypal to recognise and why Nochex isn't here any more. . If you live elsewhere - or you want to order more than the maximum of 5 items at a time - or you'd like your order delivered to an address other than the cardholder's - or, indeed, you'd prefer to pay by cheque, or have a question of startling originality we've failed to anticipate - contact us for a decisively swift response from a reasonably skilled clerk in a long coat atop a tall stool. Top | Contact Quiz the Corner Shop at corner_shop@falsebit.theweekly.co.uk (remove the falsebit). The "Splendid" is also available on different terms from Cybercandy. A head full of ruffled hairs to Geekstyle for painstakingly collating the shirt and Paypal details in a manner suitable for cribbing in a disguised hand. Top advocate feature   archives   corner shop © the weekly science combine