The Weekly will return Maintaining Britain's Standards wholly © the weekly science combine What shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor, early in the morning? Heave ho, and up she rises, patent blocks of different sizes, heave ho, and up she rises, early in the morning. Sling him in the long-boat until he's sober. Sling him in the long-boat until he's sober. Sling him in the long-boat until he's sober, early in the morning. Original lingo captain ned archive Sir: Who among us can say he has not at some point been Wilfred Pickles? Wilfred Pickles Selby letters from the editor archive I am the Master Of Riddles. Can you untangle my devious glottic knots? Little Nancy Etticoat In her white petticoat And her red nose. The longer she stands The shorter she grows. Question: Who is Nancy Etticoat? Answer: She is an old woman with osteoperosis. riddle archive The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871. "STOP STARING AT ME," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement. MR NASH added: "Crude quantities do not concern me. Unlike crude foreign lithographs." * Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than an equivalence of readers. The Adventures of Sexton Blake The Weekly Science Combine accidentally writes a wireless serial of improving thrills for the BBC Light Programme. (Now available in electric record and ethereal versions.) blake archive Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance. feature archive search science An authentic reproduction board game, banned for 150 years for its dangerous, excoriatingly satirical content. You Damned Interfering Jackanapes Another baffling case for Inspector Geezer and Constable Aaarghh. Irregular Dread: How To Set Your Garden On Fire A foolproof recipe for disaster. By MR S ANDERSON. Radio Porn A long- overdue retrospective of the career of Helga Melons, radio pornography artiste. feature archive Baby's First Portrait Watch the birdie! Or follow my voice if it's taken both eyes. hurrah/bah archive full profile This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom. corner shop Game: Big Badger. Played chiefly in: Clitheroe. Objective: Kick balloon out of rowing-boat set adrift on foamy canal at dusk. Obstacles: Must have exactly seventeen players. Rating: Vicious. heritage of games archive Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety.    I like my bath. Translated lingo captain ned archive Sign up now and keep TRICKY JOHNNY DEADFELLOW in his place. BRITONS, DO YOUR DUTY. Current scores - Dead: 5,974. Living: 8,075. join the fight advertising-announcement archive Radio-Transmitted Diseases The Fake Clock Empty Spaces Not Quite Big Enough For The Intended Piece Of Furniture The Revenge Of Paul Daniels The Hull Finder: Point To Hull Wherever You Are In The World further excellent purchases archive Former Colonials! Dispel your dizziness and disorientation in a manner traditional to your quaint and amusing hamlet. Inspect the archives for all that you may have missed while tardy or haemorrhaging.