A Knight Knows The Weekly: Maintaining Britain's Standards
The Weekly will return
Maintaining Britain's Standards
wholly © the weekly science combine
Mrs Bookery's Etiquette of Common Situations
Situation: As ward of kindly, monied aunt with imposing country estate; on learning details of disbursement under aunt's will.

Attitude: Aspirational.

Solution: A carefully plotted programme of incidents and misbehaviour designed to place madness in the aunt's head is wasteful of time and effort; fasten aunt into attic and busy oneself productively while nature takes its course.
etiquette archive
Letters From the Editor

I have developed mastery of the weather. If you do not send a thousand guineas to me, via my man, by noon tomorrow I will have the clouds viewable from your windows assume a profane shape.
Name withheld by request
West Beckt... South Beckton
letters from the editor archive
Confounding Riddles With The Master Of Riddles
I am the Master Of Riddles. Can you untangle my devious glottic knots?
As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with seven wives.
Every wife had seven bags
Every bag had seven cats
Every cat had seven kits.
Kits, cats, bags and wives
How many were going to St Ives?

Answer: Everyone, obviously.
riddle archive
The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871.

"STOP STARING AT ME," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement.

MR NASH added: "Is that the honest, stout BRITON'S MILLION or the inflated, gaudy FORMER COLONIAL'S MILLION?"

* Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than an equivalence of readers.
The Adventures of Sexton Blake
The Adventures of Sexton Blake
The Weekly Science Combine accidentally writes a wireless serial of improving thrills for the BBC Light Programme. (Now available in electric record and ethereal versions.)
blake archive
Latest features
Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance.
feature archive
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To-day's features

An exact copy of the electro-mechanical simulation of Britain's weathers built by science for the Met Office.
"Little Wonder" Caustic Atomiser
An animated item of interest to popular ladies.
Professor Science: Britain's Voice Of Tomorrow
Your questions answered about the amazing world of later.
Also Starring
Grudging acknowledgement of the others appearing in this magazine. (Javascript- only.)
feature archive
His View of the Gorge
Splendid. Simply breath- taking. Hurrah / Bah And she's still not yet hit the bottom.
hurrah/bah archive
A complete scientific analysis of your name
full profile
I'm working off my shame
This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom.
corner shop
Britain's Heritage of Games
Game: Burgle-my-Neighbour.
Played chiefly in: Wolverhampton.
Objective: Material gain.
Obstacles: Man-traps.
Rating: Vapid.
heritage of games archive
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Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety.
Your Plane Needs You!
Sign up now and keep TRICKY JOHNNY DEADFELLOW in his place. BRITONS, DO YOUR DUTY.
Current scores -
Dead: 5,974.
Living: 8,079.
join the fight
advertising-announcement archive
Further excellent purchases
Liquid Panacea - The Solution For All Your Ills
Multi-Purpose Crevice
101 Subtle Conversational Ways To Discover The Names Of People Who Seem To Know You From Somewhere
I'm On Fire! Power Matches
Electronic Wouldn't-You-Like-To-Know
further excellent purchases archive
The Former Colonial Reassure-o-Matic
Former Colonials! Dispel your dizziness and disorientation in a manner traditional to your quaint and amusing hamlet.
Inspect the archives for all that you may have missed while tardy or haemorrhaging.