The Weekly will return Maintaining Britain's Standards wholly © the weekly science combine Situation: At dinner; MR C LEE accidentally stabbed to death by MR P CUSHING during the fish course; MR C LEE disintegrates. Attitude: Prepared. Solution: Gather MR C LEE in a napkin and have a servant reconstitute the ashes in the library with a little fresh blood and a replacement dinner suit. A trusted butler needs no supervision in this matter; therefore there need be no troublesome interruption in conversation. If this is a winter party, remember to divide the guests deftly into two groups for any subsequent games, in order to keep MR C LEE away from MR A KEIR during the ice-skating. etiquette archive Sir: Incidentally, it was a wrong number, in case you were wondering. Lithotrity Fowlds Dungeoness letters from the editor archive I am the Master Of Riddles. Can you untangle my devious glottic knots? Thirty white horses On a red hill. First they champ, Then they stamp, Then they stand still. Question: What are they? Answer: They are geldings. riddle archive The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871. "STOP STARING AT ME," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement. MR NASH added: "Crude quantities do not concern me. Unlike crude foreign lithographs." * Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than fifty specially selected readers. The Adventures of Sexton Blake The Weekly Science Combine accidentally writes a wireless serial of improving thrills for the BBC Light Programme. (Acknowledged reluctantly by the contractually obliged noise emitters.) blake archive Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance. feature archive search science An authentic reproduction board game, banned for 150 years for its dangerous, excoriatingly satirical content. The Buccaneer A stirring tale of one lad's adventures in the time of pirates and some other pirates. Earth Focus Science looks to the world of tomorrow. Also Starring Grudging acknowledgement of the others appearing in this magazine. (Javascript- only.) feature archive The Memento A perma- nent reminder of my dear one. Ugh. hurrah/bah archive full profile This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom. corner shop Game: Stab-me-the-Bishop. Played chiefly in: Luss. Objective: Undulate your pseudopods. Obstacles: "Bishop Stab-me" and his Khyber knife. Rating: Delightful. heritage of games archive Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety.    Sign up now and keep TRICKY JOHNNY DEADFELLOW in his place. BRITONS, DO YOUR DUTY. Current scores - Dead: 5,981. Living: 8,118. join the fight advertising-announcement archive The "Mr Smith" Diet Brine Look At Me Do! Attention-Attracting Head Carousel With Brightly Dyed Hamsters Whirling On Bits Of String Can A Man Truly Be Dead Who Is Remembered By His Friends? Professional Man's-Friends-Killing Stick Don't Move! I'm Not Moving! Not You! Armed Robbery Mood-Lightening Misunderstander further excellent purchases archive Former Colonials! Dispel your dizziness and disorientation in a manner traditional to your quaint and amusing hamlet. Inspect the archives for all that you may have missed while tardy or haemorrhaging.