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Bill to Expand the Voting Base of the BRITON'S DEMOCRACY introduced by the Rt Hon Teabun Manly (Soc), Member for Bootle.
i. That the measure of democracy is in the extension of suffrage.
ii. Accordingly, to extend the vote to landed gentry aged 31 and over who earn less than £15,001 per annum.
(Defeated unanimously; the Rt Hon Gentleman symbolically horse-whipped by Her Gracious Majesty the full height of the House steps.) |
| the bill before the house archive |
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The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871.
"If I'd have my way and it'd been set in LA and starred Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks it'd have been five times that by now," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement.
MR NASH added: "And remember, readers, we couldn't have done it without you. Well, we could have, but it would have taken longer."
* Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than a handful of unsatisfactory employees and some readers. |
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Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance. |
| feature archive |
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| Their Master Rethinks His Budget |
| You're saved from the glue factory. |
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Let's get you home to trample my child. |
| hurrah/bah archive |
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| This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom. |
| corner shop |
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Game: Lionel-Pop!
Played chiefly in: Damage Barton.
Objective: Discovery of appointed "Lionel Stander."
Obstacles: Blindfolded; other players gargle hoarsely as decoys.
Rating: Well above stand"e"rd. |
| heritage of games archive |
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| Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety. |
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| Turn left a bit, or we'll hit it. I told you it was nitrous oxide that temporarily improved engine performance, not kegs of gunpowder. And have everyone lean over the front rail to keep the hole out of the water. |
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Translated lingo |
| captain ned archive |
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