Cast Out the Pesky The Weekly: Maintaining Britain's Standards
The Weekly will return
Maintaining Britain's Standards
wholly © the weekly science combine
Mrs Bookery's Etiquette of Common Situations
Situation: Sent down from university.

Attitude: Foppish.

Solution: Sponge.
etiquette archive
Letters From the Editor
Sir:

They say writing is all about killing your babies. I should like to advise your readers that this is, in fact, infanticide.
Span Tally
Garboldisham
letters from the editor archive
State of the Pound
The pound is up 4 exactly against the terrible coincidence of a single chip of gravel spat airborne from beneath a car's squeezing wheel breaking an old man's temple and spilling him dead on his conscientious shopping.
state of the pound archive
1m
The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871.

"I am also available for music-hall," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement.

MR NASH added: "This figure excludes the readership of S1 for some reason, ie I omitted to work it out."

* Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than two hundred readers.
The Adventures of Sexton Blake
The Adventures of Sexton Blake
The Weekly Science Combine accidentally writes a wireless serial of improving thrills for the BBC Light Programme. (Now available in electric record and ethereal versions.)
blake archive
Latest features
Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance.
feature archive
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To-day's features
A Christmas Carol
A seasonal tale for those with no patience at all.
Can Women Write?
The enduring myth at last debunked.
Wireless Weekly: The Indiscretion Of Mr Roosevelt
A shameful broadcast of interest to ears.
Irregular Dread: How To Set Your Garden On Fire
A foolproof recipe for disaster. By MR S ANDERSON.
feature archive
Hurrah/Bah
The Face at the Window
Ha ha! It's only me. Hurrah / Bah Now open the airlock.
hurrah/bah archive
A complete scientific analysis of your name
full profile
I'm working off my shame
This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom.
corner shop
Britain's Heritage of Games
Game: Whither Exmouth?
Played chiefly in: The environs of Exmouth.
Objective: Discovery of Exmouth.
Obstacles: Selective memory.
Rating: Challenging.
heritage of games archive
Sub Up
Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety.
  
Your Plane Needs You!
Sign up now and keep TRICKY JOHNNY DEADFELLOW in his place. BRITONS, DO YOUR DUTY.
Current scores -
Dead: 5,974.
Living: 8,079.
join the fight
Advertising-announcement
Advertising-announcement
advertising-announcement archive
Further excellent purchases
Tastes Like Jam
Let's Do The Show Right Here In The Barn! Home Barn
Ornamental Chaff
Jukebox In Your Mouth
Cork Flakes
further excellent purchases archive
The Former Colonial Reassure-o-Matic
Former Colonials! Dispel your dizziness and disorientation in a manner traditional to your quaint and amusing hamlet.
Archives
Inspect the archives for all that you may have missed while tardy or haemorrhaging.
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