Cast Out the Pesky The Weekly: Maintaining Britain's Standards
The Weekly will return
Maintaining Britain's Standards
wholly © the weekly science combine
LL Limerick Of Limerick And His Limericks On Laudanum
Escaping by rooftop, McCall
Swore arrogant vengeance on all.
But lions, ornamental,
Caught his foot in their dentals
And Pride, as is known, precedes Fall.
limerick archive
Letters From the Editor

It took me a few moments to realise what was so odd about him. He was articulating his emotions. He hadn't sighed, he'd said, "Sigh." Instead of being surprised, he'd said, "Gasp." I had no doubt that if I hit him, he'd say, "Ow." I hit him. He said, "Ow."
Chapter Eight
letters from the editor archive
Confounding Riddles With The Master Of Riddles
I am the Master Of Riddles. Can you untangle my devious glottic knots?
Speak not and you speak my name.

Question: What am I?

Answer: Dandy Nichols.
riddle archive
The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871.

"A million? I can't believe it. Tell me again. No, I still can't believe it. Put some conviction into it. No, you're fired," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement.

MR NASH added: "I'd like to thank all those talented artists we've been waiting for to die."

* Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than fifty specially selected readers.
The Adventures of Sexton Blake
The Adventures of Sexton Blake
The Weekly Science Combine accidentally writes a wireless serial of improving thrills for the BBC Light Programme. (Now available in electric record and ethereal versions.)
blake archive
Latest features
Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance.
feature archive
Search The Weekly
Search The Weekly
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To-day's features
The Altairians
Thrill- chapters of the space- rocket serial.
Information For Candidates
The official examination timetable.
Talking In Conversation With Joseph Of Montford
A conversational talk with the discoverer of the semicolon.
Benign Medicine, Malign Medicine
The official explanatory diagram.
feature archive
Meeting the Neighbours
"Good lord! (Choke.) The working class!"
hurrah/bah archive
A complete scientific analysis of your name
full profile
I'm working off my shame
This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom.
corner shop
Britain's Heritage of Games
Game: Whither Exmouth?
Played chiefly in: The environs of Exmouth.
Objective: Discovery of Exmouth.
Obstacles: Selective memory.
Rating: Challenging.
heritage of games archive
Sub Up
Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety.
Your Plane Needs You!
Sign up now and keep TRICKY JOHNNY DEADFELLOW in his place. BRITONS, DO YOUR DUTY.
Current scores -
Dead: 5,974.
Living: 8,074.
join the fight
advertising-announcement archive
Further excellent purchases
Sounds Of The Seventies: Music CD Of Popular Hits Digitally Enhanced To Mimic Resonating Of Tinny Speaker On High Notes, Dirty Heads, Snagged Tape Tangling Within Mechanism, Magnetic Drop-outs, Etc
Your Face In Tar
In-Between Stations-Only Junior Practice Set For Budding Radio Astronomers
further excellent purchases archive
The Former Colonial Reassure-o-Matic
Former Colonials! Dispel your dizziness and disorientation in a manner traditional to your quaint and amusing hamlet.
Inspect the archives for all that you may have missed while tardy or haemorrhaging.