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Escaping by rooftop, McCall
Swore arrogant vengeance on all.
But lions, ornamental,
Caught his foot in their dentals
And Pride, as is known, precedes Fall. |
limerick archive |
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Sir:
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy! However, I am informed the choice is not mine to make. |
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letters from the editor archive |
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Bill to Outlaw Beastly Nastiness introduced by the Rt Hon Melgeret Melmehaugh, Member for Miller's Dale.
i. That the ills of the world are caused solely by ozard frightfulness and ghastly odium.
ii. Accordingly, hideous awfulness itself ought to be proscribed; this abolition to be enforced by rosily cheerful constable-bobbies with pastel cudgels and priestly javelins.
(Second reading.) |
the bill before the house archive |
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The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871.
"Are you quite sure you don't mean theweekly.com?" said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement.
MR NASH added: "Gosh. And many of those people are now likely dead."
* Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than a handful of unsatisfactory employees and some readers. |
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Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance. |
feature archive |
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This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom. |
corner shop |
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Game: Letter-Bomb!
Played chiefly in: Lauder.
Objective: Discover players' secret letters by asking questions: players cannot use their letter in answers.
Obstacles: Tied to bomb.
Rating: Tense. |
heritage of games archive |
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Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety. |
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