The Weekly will return Maintaining Britain's Standards wholly © the weekly science combine tom sandwich archive Sir: Two extra pints please. Number 12 Swaledale letters from the editor archive The pound is up 0.77 against today's drunken currencies, the yen and the franc. The mark is mildly drunk, but exempt as it called in sick. state of the pound archive The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871. "I feel humbled by my part in wasting so much of the lives of so many people," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement. MR NASH added: "Will exchange priceless original copy of issue one for kindling." * Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than a handful of unsatisfactory employees and some readers. The Adventures of Sexton Blake The Weekly Science Combine accidentally writes a wireless serial of improving thrills for the BBC Light Programme. (Acknowledged reluctantly by the contractually obliged noise emitters.) blake archive Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance. feature archive search science You Damned Interfering Jackanapes Another baffling case for Inspector Geezer and Constable Aaarghh. Murder and Prison It's happened a million times to a million people. The Buccaneer A stirring tale of one lad's adventures in the time of pirates and some other pirates. This Is Kinema Weekly A programme of continuous entertainment. feature archive Beep, Beep Well driven, Mr Perkins. Back up, he's still moving. hurrah/bah archive full profile This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom. corner shop Position: Resilient Thwarted. Responsibilities: Success can be measured only by comparison, so between the inspired gentleman-amateur and the callous-palmed mining-child lies the vital task of perpetually thwarted resilience. Unshakeable faith in the powers of glued feathers required; plus cheerful bumbling; and unbrittle bones. Remuneration: A minimum of £50 per annum in grants from a grateful SCIENCE. Prospects: None. better yourself archive Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety.    tom sandwich archive Sign up now and keep TRICKY JOHNNY DEADFELLOW in his place. BRITONS, DO YOUR DUTY. Current scores - Dead: 5,988. Living: 8,136. join the fight advertising-announcement archive Salt-Vinegar-Mustard-Pepper Cruet Set Extruded In The Shape Of A Skipping Rope (Cannot Be Used For Skipping) 500 Near-Identical Slivers Of Bark And A Single Matching Pair That's My Shinbone! Neuter-U The Towel Recycler further excellent purchases archive Former Colonials! Dispel your dizziness and disorientation in a manner traditional to your quaint and amusing hamlet. Inspect the archives for all that you may have missed while tardy or haemorrhaging.