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Situation: Duelling; suddenly realising the absurdity of the disagreement; considering the fragile mortality of your opponent.
Attitude: Honourable.
Solution: Discharge your pistol harmlessly into the soil. |
etiquette archive |
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 I am the Master Of Riddles. Can you untangle my devious glottic knots? |
Little Nancy Etticoat
In her white petticoat
And her red nose.
The longer she stands
The shorter she grows.
Question: Who is Nancy Etticoat?
Answer: She is an old woman with osteoperosis. |
riddle archive |
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The BRITON'S SCIENCE has shewn that The Weekly, the magazine which strives to maintain Britain's standards, has topped* one million readers since 1871.
"What foresight to have introduced a charge of 1p per page when the magazine began," said MR MILLINGTON of this mathematically inevitable achievement.
MR NASH added: "And remember, readers, we couldn't have done it without you. Well, we could have, but it would have taken longer."
* Though not, of course, in the sense of assassination. The Weekly has had cause to assassinate no more than a carriage's-worth of readers. |
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Sup from the issue broth with the random ladle. New issue every time, subject to blind unfavouring chance. |
feature archive |
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The Motorcyclists |
Your go next, Stiggins. |
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Let's play Lawr- ence of Arabia. |
hurrah/bah archive |
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This chap's purchased an OFFICIAL THE WEEKLY T-SHAPED SHIRT and now he's working off his shame at indulging in such wasteful extravagance. You too may display similar penitence, and perhaps press hot coins guiltily into the hands of a stooped clerk for a copy of MR MILLINGTON's improving books Things About Which My Girlfriend And I Have Argued, A Certain Chemistry, Love and Other Near-Death Experiences and Instructions For Living Someone Else's Life, by patronising the The Weekly Corner Shop corner shop. Items despatched under plain wrapper, school-boys will be chased from the premises with a broom. |
corner shop |
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Game: Burgle-my-Neighbour.
Played chiefly in: Wolverhampton.
Objective: Material gain.
Obstacles: Man-traps.
Rating: Vapid. |
heritage of games archive |
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Remain UP-TO-DATE and KEENLY ABREAST with a subscription to BRITAIN'S ADVOCATE OF QUALITIES. You will receive notification by e-mail of forthcoming issues of the magazine which inspires Britons everywhere to forge ahead to a better newness. Alternatively, sub down from the list in weary satiety. |
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