Cast Out the Pesky The Weekly: Maintaining Britain's Standards
Telegraph-text
By the SCIENCE COMBINE, MR S HOBBS, MR H PATERSON and MR M SULLIVAN.
Ever alert to the rapid advances of technology in today's modern atomic space-age world, The Weekly has secured at fabulous expense this thrilling new medium certain to render all other forms of electro-communication obsolete within ten minutes, TELEGRAPH-TEXT. With a never before seen degree of fidelity to even the intention of the most libertine author, the sophistico-advancements of TELEGRAPH-TEXT permit reproduction of the full spectrum in effects sure to amaze the populace, baffle the foreigner and dispense merciful brain-strokes among the tenaciously elderly.

Working with a hand-picked brigade disguised, to elude surveillance by a foreign power, as tramps, or possibly some tramps, the Science Combine has toiled to bring you, the READER OF UPSTAND, a full one hundred pages of information and distraction to delight, educate and arouse - your interest, of course - and arouse; including a Front Page of The Weekly adapted to demonstrate the maximum superiority of the minimal medium. Surely now friend grey-beard must throw up his hands and admit that his trifling hobbies in motion-photographs can lead nowhere, and that the apogee of TRIUMPHANT SCIENCE MARVEL is the second reality of TELEGRAPH-TEXT. Hurrah for a Majesty!
Super Telegraph-text 57
If you are a raddled posho with a fast connection, you may prefer this special edition of Telegraph-text which loads and caches all one hundred pages before you begin, so you may read offline or something. Note that this caching may take a while, as there are some 160 files totalling approximately 260K; Super Telegraph-text 57 is not recommended for persons whose connection is slow, and heedless rashness may result in a tiresome wait (as generally your science-machine will load files in batches of four) and an angel dying off its cloud. Please wait until the introduction appears ("Welcome to Super Telegraph-text 57"; etc) so you can be quite sure the completeness is whole. Telegraph-text is the preferred version, if you are dithering for an influence.
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