Play up, fellows! The Weekly: Maintaining Britain's Standards
WE ARE RETURNING YOUR MANUSCRIPT BECAUSE
While the idea of enclosing yourself with the package was ingenious, you unfortunately died in transit

There is no market for Man U films

There are 3% too many nouns

You want next door. I tried taking it round and saying "Cooee!" but no one was in

It contained a bomb; please send again, omitting bomb
My Album
Me in Paris
Me on Bonfire Night
Me at Glastonbury
Me with friends
Me skiing
SONGS FROM NEO-REALIST MUSICALS
Who Will Buy My Sexual Favours

Beating, Isolation And Freezing Plunge Baths Will Solve A Problem Like Maria

Food, Not Enough Food

Les Dawson's Something Like A Dame

Chim Chimernee, Chim Chimernee, Child Up The Flue
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