A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M
N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

Bad Thing

Highlights a particularly bad thing.

Example: "You have to use both keyboard and joystick. This is a Bad Thing."
Secret origin: Comes from (or was at least popularised by) the book 1066 And All That. Introduced by Matt Bielby. Revived by Cam.
Note 1: The capitals are important. Otherwise it is merely ordinarily bad.
Note 2: See also Good Thing.


X! It's back (back! Back!)

Indicating something has returned.

Example: "Plus! Gloom 2! It's back (back! Back!)"
Secret origin: Traditional, dating from YS. Possibly coined by Matt Bielby.
Note: Also "X is back (back! Back!)"


(Bang!) Oh no! (Dies.)

An awkward question is avoided; a secret is withheld.

Example: "It's perfectly simple why the two pages of Total appeared in AP41. It's because (Bang!) Oh no! (Dies.)"
Secret origin: Uncertain. Appears to have been coined either by Jonathan Davies or Stuart Campbell. Wait a moment, this just in - the inventor is (Bang!) Oh no! (Dies.)
Note: The complete bracket of "(Dies.)" trumps any earlier punctuation of the sentence. If it's not "(Dies.)" then trumpery moonshine must be involved.



Essentially; in short.

Example: "It's a platform game, basically."
Secret origin: Traditional.
First used: AP Zero.
Note: A vocabulary atom.


'Be' X

Relating to tedious game lore.

Example: "Dear AP, tell me how to 'be' Goro."
Secret origin: Coined in sister magazine Gamesmaster by Andy Lowe.
Note: Really sound that bilabial consonant.


Best X ever in the history of all things

See The best X ever in the history of all things.



Expressing pleasure in accuracy or success.

Example: "The missing page. Bingo!"
Secret origin: From the announcer in the Smash TV coin-op. Taken for his own by Dave Green.
Note: Must follow the original explosive pronunciation: as if you are introducing that member of The Banana Splits.


Bludgeoning with a rowing oar

Physical criticism.

Example: "He introduces the author of the save game routine. I bludgeon him with a rowing oar."
Secret origin: A set-piece of Man's Best Friend, the episode of Ren and Stimpy considered too unpleasant to broadcast. Commandeered for AP by J Nash.
Note: "You useless cretinous morons" with attitude.


X bugs my knackers

Focusing attention on something annoying.

Example: "And I'll tell you what really bugs my knackers - tiny wires."
Secret origin: Coined by Stuart Campbell.


But anyway

Ends a tangential remark without explanation. Always used as a separate paragraph.

Example: "ROGER MOORE (off): Another miraculous escape! Bast!"
"But anyway."
Secret origin: Traditional. First used in AP by Stuart Campbell. Revived by Jonathan Davies. Adopted by J Nash to introduce relevant part of review.


But not as X as something I've just thought of

Deflation joke.

Example: "That's really funny! But not as funny as something I've just thought of."
Secret origin: Coined by Josse Bilson of Sega Zone.


But that's another unfunny in-joke

Ironically, an in-joke.

Example: "Appallingly, the game comes on eleven million disks. Actually, it comes on five, but that's another unfunny in-joke."
Secret origin: Evolved from "But that's another story" via AP's gene pool.