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Heaven's Above! Vertical Compass
Just Like My Unfortunate Daddy Training Crutches And Little Hammer Gift Set
Punch In The Mouth Whimsical Pugilist-Shaped Drinks Dispenser
Tiny Dead Ravens In A Nice Shiny Box
I Am Not My Brother's Keeper Internationally Recognised Criminal Brother Responsibility Exemption Certificate
Power Paper 2000
10,000 Piece Louis Mountbatten Action Portrait Jigsaw
The Lawn And Dog Mower
Pretty Puddings
The Guinness Book Of Matches
Smoke Alarm With Snooze Button
The Towel Recycler
Electronic Wouldn't-You-Like-To-Know
The Pupil Crammer
I'm Trapped In My Overturned Car Behind A Hedge And Invisible From The Road 12 Miles East Of Barnsley Extremely Specific Personal Alarm
The Benny Hill Make-Go-Fast
The Beach Ball-Gag
All-Purpose Cranking Handles
More Than You Can Eat
Joyce Grenfell Presents How To Defend Yourself Against Knife Attacks
Let's Do The Show Right Here In The Barn! Home Barn
More Desirable Versions Of Existing Things
Justice Dustbins
Salt-Vinegar-Mustard-Pepper Cruet Set Extruded In The Shape Of A Skipping Rope (Cannot Be Used For Skipping)
The Disguise Yourself As Ian Holm Playset
Skeleton-in-the-Cupboard! Complete Private Investigator's Report for Birthday Parties
The Turf Tidy
Scissors Safe To Run With: Should You Trip, The Integral Mercury Sensing Apparatus And Explosive Charge Ensure The Blades Are Fired Harmlessly Away From Your Body
Japanese Schoolgirl Milk
Combination Clothes Iron And Ion Emitter
Drinks Flask With Four Interchangeable Vacuums
I've Got No Clothes On! - The New Family Game
Llaammppppoosstts
The Distance Misjudger
Liquid Panacea - The Solution For All Your Ills
Mumbling For Boys
Cork Flakes
Tourist Man-Traps
Spuntle-O
Musical Bones Shin Resonator
Mr Big-James
Can You Hear Me Mother? - The Official Sandy Powell Method For Determining Parental Death
My First Woodchipper
The Hedge And Lady Trimmer
What The Hell Are You Talking About? Guide To What The Hell People Are Talking About
Custer's Hat Stand
The Guaranteed Ghost-Free Bedsheet
Electronic Yikes! II
The Magnificent Jape
Evel Knievel's Evil Kneefuls o' Weevils
The Childhood Fears Nursery Mobile
Trust Me, I'm A Doctor! Chloroforming-Justification Badge
The Near-The-Knuckle Explicitly Shaped Knuckle-Shaving Apparatus
The Obey-Me Megaphone
The One-Pound Stone
The Pelmet Mate
Pay-As-You-Go Parachute Jumps
Suddenly It's Pickles!
The Tadpole Bather
Ear Fresh
Double-Sided Playing Cards
The Lice Rink
Origami Ankles Of Radio News-Readers, Set III
Can A Man Truly Be Dead Who Is Remembered By His Friends? Professional Man's-Friends-Killing Stick
Teeny-Tiny Books
Cripplin' Painz
Pure Evil
My First Agile Intelligent Venomous Scuttling Pet And Loosely Latched Cage
Diet Brine
The Go-Anywhere Vase
Watch That Child! Puncture-Free Ceramic Tyres
The Cricket And Eyelash Bat
Dozens Of Tongues
Strokealike! Muscle Slackener
Newt-Away
Eclipse-O
The Tuning And Salad Fork
The Maniac Butler
That's My Shinbone!
Record Your Own Black Box
Frozen Cold
Gorilla Botherer 8000
Is This Anyone's? Anyone Here Claiming This? If It Isn't Anyone's, I'm Going To Take It. Anyone? Last Chance. Okay Then
My Little Yoni
Mauve Loaves
101 Subtle Conversational Ways To Discover The Names Of People Who Seem To Know You From Somewhere
A Spare Proton
The X- And Manta Ray
The Super Nose
Crosse-and-Blackwell-Your-Heart Nutritious Soup Bra
Largely Non-Fatal Homespun Wisdom
A Jubilant Mass
Scent Of Henry
Cracker Wants A Polly, The Non-Judgmental Companion For Easeless Criminal Psychologists
Hole-in-the-Heart Coloured Plugs
Cloudy, Brackish Grade B Water
Jukebox In Your Mouth
Chequered Pasts
Confidence-Building Solo Flight Gift Certificate For Narcoleptics
I've Got A Backpack
The Goitre Warmer
Benson's Self-Trouser
The Portable CD-Radio-Cassette Player And Mouse-Bath
Help Me, Val Doonican!
The Wonder Stabber
The Atlantic (Gravitational Pull Of The Moon Not Included)
The Gaberdine Tantaliser
Word-Swallowing For Provincials
The Get Away From My Pennies Railway-Spike
It's Gravel!
Radio-Transmitted Diseases
Your Face In Tar
Coin-Operated Indecipherable Gurgler
The Feelings Tenderiser
The Official Neighbourhood Watch Timepiece
Shakespeare's Flannel
A Trombonist's Thrombosis
55 Further Ways To Place Melvyn Hayes In Jeopardy
The Molecular Sieve
Neuter-U
Think Marmalade
John Peel's Gay Coat
A Curable Romantic
Complete Mastery Of Man And All His Dominions: An Orbis Partwork
Fat-Free, Salt-Free, Sugar-Free Fatty Salty Sugar Cubes
The Fancy Fantastic Fantasy Revolving Blades Set At An Angle Wind Making Thing
The Underwater Doe
The I Can't Even Begin To Explain How Excellent This Is
Razed Eyebrows
Postage And Packing
The Beer And Glassing Glass
Nasal Passages: Extracts From Famous Works Of Literature Read By The Country's Finest Adenoidal Celebrities
The All-In-One
The Remote-Controlled Fork
Shades Of Yesterday, The Endangeringly Misjudged Range Of Historically Themed Household Paints, Including Perilous Yellow, Rivers-Of-Blood Red And Shirt-Black: From The People Who Brought You Smilin' Sammy Sepoy Basting Fat
It's Cock-a-Doodle-Dan!
Tremper-Browne's Miniature Pyramid Of Dynamite
My Super Bodyguard: The Intravenous Mastiff
The "Maid's Surprise"
I've Seldom Tasted A Finer Custard Than This
Resemble Brigands!
Kick-start Primitive Cultures With The Two-in-One Firewheel
Exactly The Right Amount Of Treachery
Upgrade To The Best Things In Life Plus For Just One Guinea
The Lighty-Bulby |
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By MR S HOBBS
Trad Arr Tribute Album
Some Time To Think About It (Available In Three- And Six-Minute Punnets)
Duck-Flummoxing Bread Projector
Honestly Different Batteries
Limited Edition Grace Jones Matey Bubblebath
Musical Coffee Table: Coffee Table Music Version
Fudgie-Budgie - He's So Sweet!
Has Anybody Seen My Peanuts? |
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The Wife And Carpet Beater
Bashful Roger Inarticulated Play Figurine
The Bumper Book Of World Customs Illustrated Smuggling Guide
The Shoop-de-Shoop
Empty Spaces Not Quite Big Enough For The Intended Piece Of Furniture
Bumper Endorsement Gift Set: Lionel Atwill Twill, The Wheeler & Woolsey Woolly Wheel, Hattie Jacques Hat-E-Japes, The David Thewlis Thew Rest, The Tony Hancock Stopcock, The Arthur Negus Knee Bus And Penelope Keith's Sheaths
Clockwork Tenors
The Suffocating Volcanic Ash Lamp
I'm Trapped In My Tomb! 10,000-Slave Escape Kit
It's Oblong!
The Marvellous Mechanical Mouse Hitter
World's Largest Aquarium! Oversized Pump, Weeds And Plastic Castle For Throwing Into The Sea
The Cowl Mate
I Am The Protractor Sinister Maths Equipment Set
The Ankle-Hang Glider
Vibrating Personal Page-Boy
Decoy Shinty Team
Mrs Torso Visits Mr Trunk Educational Picture-Book For Murderers
Let's Not Learn About Death Pre-Killed Pets
The Omni Lid
In-Between Stations-Only Junior Practice Set For Budding Radio Astronomers
This Looks Like A Job For... Upliftingly Declaimed Temp Agency Phone Calls
Gummy Mama Yahoo's Moody Yehudi Menuhin Yummy Yam Menus
Lionel, Let's Think Of A Good Name For This Before We Sell It
Doggee Hat - The Hat For Dogs
Ultra-Hammock
The Bonsai Tree, Tiny Axe And Miniature Sawmill Kit
Christopher Biggins - The Shed
Attack Me, I'm Weak! Darwinian Personal Alarm
Shepherd Confuser 9000
Pease Pudding Hot Pease Pudding Cold Pease Pudding In The Pot Nine Days Old Official Packet Of Peas And Serving Suggestion
The Corpse Detector
Child Safe
Don't Move! I'm Not Moving! Not You! Armed Robbery Mood-Lightening Misunderstander
Tinder Cinders
The Silly 4000
The Swan Whistle
Dining Goggles
No-Angst Teen Palpitation Inducer Implant
Bunky Beds
The Crime Organiser
A Button That When You Press It Evaporates Everyone In The World
The Bisexucycle
Fee-Fie-Fo-Fum Crushed Englishman Home Bakery
Disposable Opinions
The Fold-Out/Fold-Away Tennis Court And Small Intestine
Exciting Vehicles To Cheer You Up Following Personal Disaster, Including The Muggee Buggy, The Random Beating Heated Tandem, The Parasuicide Paraglide And The Fallen Too Far Brand-New Car
The Rude Ladder
Squeal Piggy Squeal! Squealing Piggy
Curtains For Windowed Envelopes Which Can Be Drawn Aside To Reveal Your Name And One Of 12 Surprising Designs, Including Don Estelle In The Bath Wearing A Large Shower-Cap, A Frosting Effect Through Which Can Be Seen A Merry Dinner-Table Scene Set Before A Roaring Open Fire, A Large Eye Looking Back At You And A Domestic Burglary
Dead Man's Chest Linctus
I've Seen The Lions At Longleat! And At Chester! And In My Garden And Knife Drawer! Madwoman Badge
Gravy Pops
The Gander Bender
The All-New Catalogue Of Errors
Pen, Pad And Skydiving Gift Certificate: The Extreme Cartography Experience
The Mould Mould
My Secret Shame
You Be The Judge! Robes, Wig, Gavel And Certain Legal Powers
A Cheap Disposable Pen Which Doesn't Run Out Of Ink At Exactly The Moment You Need It: Instead A Powerful Spring Bursts The Plastic Reservoir Out Of The Top Of The Tube And Through Your Cheekbone
The Home Barrel
Widely Grinning Frank Muir Novelty Shower Head
The It Seemed Funny At The Time
Flamfew!
Look At Me Do! Attention-Attracting Head Carousel With Brightly Dyed Hamsters Whirling On Bits Of String
The Egg And Fly Whisk
Now You Shall Pay For Your Crimes! Reparation Debit Card
The Pseudo-Scientific Calculator
The Touring Shroud
The Amazing Mystery Dehydrated Chemical - Which Will You Get?
The Bag In A Tree
Lionel Stander Presents His Famous Three-Step Programme To Impersonating Lionel Stander
Tastes Like Jam
Zznakezz!
The Jaw Crank
Leap While You Sleep! The Nerve-Agitating Electrical Exercise System
The Self-Moving Ventriloquist Dummy
The Mole, Cockroach, Mouse, Rat, Ant And Spider Hitter
Stop Thief Automatic Fist-Shaker
The Trout Defeater
Sounds Of The Seventies: Music CD Of Popular Hits Digitally Enhanced To Mimic Resonating Of Tinny Speaker On High Notes, Dirty Heads, Snagged Tape Tangling Within Mechanism, Magnetic Drop-outs, Etc
Look! It's A Building!
The Soup Tidy
Super-Gone Scourer
The De-Gooser
The Eyeball Cosy
Mmm, Well, If That's What Everyone Else Wants: The Game Of Sinkingly Resigned Party Game Acceptance
The Pet Crematorium
Choking-Hazard Billiards
Gubbins!
Reg Varney's Lunch
Holiday Tat
Gasper, The Internationally Recognised Choking Sign Light-Up Visual Aid
Chimney Chum
The Aqua-Mouse
The "Mr Smith"
Congratulations, It's A Boy! Easily Impressed Youth Identifier
Spare Some Change? Begging Piggy Bank
Abra-Cup-Dabra
The Croaky-Poky
Hostess Trolley With Blue Plastic Fangs
The Revenge Of Paul Daniels
Paraphilia Paraphernalia
Whoops-a-Daisy Unexpected Daisy Pack
Derek Nimmo's Holy Scissors
Auto-Beak
The Thing From Another World
Diet Fake Synthetic Ersatz Replacement
The Champion Stabber
Tiny Hay-Bales For Your Pocket Pony
Look Everyone, Here Comes Kenneth Kendall! Subcutaneous Kendall-Tracer Dart-Gun
Super I-Have-My-Problems
Iridescent Butterfly Scales Makeup Foundation
Cockleshelves
The Unfulfilling Rager
Calf-Jab!
Dumbfoundingly Sickening Salad Dressing
Other People's Post
The Hoe, Hose And Hosiery Gift Set
The Gnathic Inhibitor Sweet
Traditional Pâté De Campagne With Cognac - Just Like Mama Used To Order
Collapsible Probability Waveform And Carry Bag
Least Said, Soonest Mended - The Game Of Miming Surgery
Garden Mood Swings
Encapsulated Scapulimancer Exculpation Pack
The Prang Prong
A Stwabewwy Thwick Thwake, Pwease!
Ligature: The Game Of Pedantic Typography
Hot Hail Fireworks
Lynching Baskets
The Stay-Slim Rowing Machine - Burn Calories With Furiously Angry Exchanges
Inextinguishable Enthusiasm
Fish Lips
Auntie Phee's Anti-Matter Flea-Free Anti-Freeze
The Tabool: It's A Strikingly Small Table! It's An Arrestingly Large Stool!
Fake Ids
The Clutching Grasp Unsettling Fastener
Something For That
Sabotage The Workshy Lounging Of Generations To Come With Forbidden Fruit From The Tree Of Knowledge Jam: It Is The Preserve They Deserve
Box Of Translations (Loose)
There Goes Betty Marsden!
Fields (Specify Arable Or Magnetic)
The Football And Stomach Pump
Sabre Blade Of Grass For Your Tiny Wicker Warrior |
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Prime Cuts Of Butter
Official Queen-Saving God
Firing Range Bullet-Packed Stove For Cooks You Dislike
Bonanza Facial Trap
Christ, These Look Like Jodhpurs! Oh Wait I See! Jodhpurs
Assortment Of Tools Guaranteed Not To Work Any Better For People Snatching Them Away After Watching Your Futile Efforts With Steadily Mounting Exasperation
Occasionally Tables
Delicious Sluice
Charge-Card Of The Light Brigade Historically Themed Convenience Shopping Account
The Fling-Stick
Bridget Riley Practical Designs: Zebra Crossing, Optician's Chart, Airport Runway Markings, Etc
The Roof Cosy
I-Spy Guide To Those Clouds That Bear A Marginal Resemblance In The Few Seconds The Perspective Exactly Matches Your Position Of Observation To Things You Were Thinking Of Anyway
The Saucy-Pan
Thiz Lookz Uzeful
It's Not My Round Empty Glass Hinting Shuffler
Bucket O' The Evil That Men Do
The 40,000 Candle-Power Power Candle For Romantic Masochist Dinners
Where's Grandad? Geopositional Satellite Tracker
Stay-A-Wake Catalogue Of Worry Thoughts, Including Realisations Of Mortality, Nagging Doubts, Money Troubles, Self-Recriminations, Bitterness And Past Embarrassments
The Second Book Of Dysphemistic Things To Croak In Polite Company Amid The Queasy Cold Pain Of Walking Into Something With Your Shin
Todd's Soup
Woodlouse-Firing Mosquito Cannon
Grim Oop North, The Game Of Cultural Belittlement
Pocket Gentleman
The Era-Ender
Because Miners Are Paid To Take Risks: The Miniature Canary Gas-Mask
Drubbing!
The Fake Clock
Coping With Loss With Kenneth Cope
The Fish Boot
Aunt Dismantler 5000
Face Cladding
Bad Fido! Pet Whipping Kit
The Swords Of A Thousand Men
The Imposs-a-Bag
Decalcified Milk
Cloudburst!
Oh My Giddy Aunt! Sonic Balance Disruptor Gun
High-Use Sign Letters For Downmarket Businesses, Including EZ, U, K And 'n'
Macrowave Ovens
Underneath The Arches - The Flanagan And Allen Commemorative Album Harkening Back To That Simpler Lost Age Of Harmlessly Whimsical Wisely Perceptive Undrunken Tramps
The Jesus Conker
His 'n' Hers Monocle
No Spasm's Gonna Stop Me! 290-Piece Crockery Set
A Token In The Shape Of A Thrupenny Bit Valid For A Pint Of Milk, A Pat Of Butter, A Loaf Of Bread, An All-Day Gobstopper, A Trip To The Pictures And Change Enough For The Ride Home
The Super Thing
Earpaulettes
I'm On Fire! Power Matches
The Kneely-Downer
Shrieking Gibbering Garden Gnomes
The Town Crier Cummerbund Talking Catalogue, For All Your Blind Town Crier Cummerbund Needs
The Self-Laying Maid
My Life Is In Your Hands! Non-Working Brakes For The Faithful
Julius Seizure Roman Nobleman Fit Statue
Underlay Overlay
Four New Kinds Of Eating Disorder
Pedestrian Gears
Cousin Terrifier 6000
Theirs And Mine Towel Set
Time-Saving Vinegary Brown Paper
The Colossal Cow
Nerys Hughes - The Fountain
TV Dinner With Cross Dressing
The Descending Ceiling Guest Press
Had Another Fit, Grandma? The Rocking Chair Airbag
The Cost In Human Misery Supermarket Price Gun
The Self-Assembler
Advantage: Science Atomic Tennis Balls
Burke and Hare's Teeth Of The Stars
Truly Magnificent Socks
The Rat Immobiliser - Prevents Your Ship From Sinking
The Kneecap Cap
Ornamental Chaff
Mighty Brooms
Soul Unclogger 7000
Stanley Baxter Bangs A Tin Tea-Tray Discordantly, Vol IV
Merriment Evoked!
An Assault (Batteries Not Included)
Personalised Calamities
The Non-Humorous Bosom
Sleeping Bag Plus
Touch It! Stroke It! Smooth Pebble
The Carp-Et
Idiotic Fowl
Dagenham's Own
The Disquieting Loofah
Deranged Business Shirt, Featuring Jabbing Collars, Wrist-Splintering Cuffs And Noxious Gas-Releasing Buttons
Skulking Lutes
The Garage Mammoth
Stupefying Ineptitude
500 Near-Identical Slivers Of Bark And A Single Matching Pair
A Crisp
Is That Old Bloke Still Breathing? - The Public Library Game
The Toad Recliner
Lionel Stander Sings Lionel Jeffries Sings Lionel Bart
Grum-Ball, Your Peevish Plaything
That Flue-Widening Gizmo! Also Widens Trouser Waistbands, Uncomfortable Shoes, Unsatisfactorily Narrow Fruits And Your Baby Brother's Knowledge If You Put It In His Mouth On Setting Eight. Go On, Put It In His Mouth. No One's Looking. Go On - It's Perfectly Safe, We Wouldn't Tell You To If It Weren't. Gooooo On. Wait, Someone's Coming. Down, Put It Down. Pick Up That Book, That's Right. Any Page Will Do. Hello! Phew, They Didn't Suspect A Thing. Oh No - They've Taken Your Baby Brother For His Bath. Well, We'll Just Wait For Another Chance Deluxe
Druggle
82 Things-In-A-Tin
Give Me An A! Give Me Another A! Give Me An R! Give Me A D! Give Me A V! Give Me An A! Give Me An R! Give Me A K! Relentlessly Cheerful Dictionary For Perky Illiterates With Developed Biceps
Tenors' Tennis
The Eyes Of Kenneth Horne Reassuringly Genial Penetratingly Intrusive Closed-Circuit Camera Trivialiser
The Stabber Deluxe
Ultra-Girdle
The Jaw-Springer
The Joan Hickson Luge
Magnified Qualms
Ten Green Bottles And A Wall
Bulimic's Choice Emetically Modified Food
The Wiry Intricacy
Billy Dainty's Doorbell Supreme
The Bagpipe Airbag
Sygiretz!
Save-Your-Embarrassment Witness Blinder
Nonny Nonny Hay
The Brutally Vengeful Teddy Bear
The Man Skirt
Urgings: Fulfilled
Finger Nail Remover
The Qualm Stiller
The William Tell And Saint Sebastian Companion Toby Jug Set
The I Don't Remember Buying This. Did I Buy This? I Must Have, I Suppose - There's My Name And Address, And I Know That No One Else In My Street Has A Similar Name. Still, I Can't Remember Buying It, At All. Looks Good Though, And Might Come In Handy. In Fact - Yes - I Can Think Of Exactly The Place For It, Where It'll Help A Lot. Hey, Everyone, Come And See What I Bought! It's Just What We Need! Plus
Multi-Purpose Crevice
Elongated Caricature Broom Handles
The Cricket And Window Box
Guess The Dreadful Secret Of The Isolated Rural Community!
Lionel Stander's Goodbye Hat
Digital Fingers
HG Wells' War Of The Words Scrabble
Death Plus Either A Handsome Pocket-watch Or A Desk Caddy, All For The Price Of Failure
The Broken Biscuit Broken Barrel
Purposeless Glue
The Beckoning Rooster Worm-Intriguer
I, Jerry Desmonde, Will Slay This Horse For You With One Clinically Precise Swing Of My Naily Club
What A Lovely Blouse
The Hull Finder: Point To Hull Wherever You Are In The World
Die, You Naughty Puppy
Fully Articulated Danger Christ
The Fatal Miscalculator |
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