Cast Out the Pesky The Weekly: Maintaining Britain's Standards
At the Dentist's
Your teeth are fine. Hurrah / Bah But your daugh- ter's dead.
Bearding a Merry Outlaw
Ha ha! Well done, my worthy adversary. Hurrah / Bah Right, shoot him and burn the body.
Defying the Storm
Ar-har! Har hargle har! Ar-harrr! Hurrah / Bah I have no idea how to drive this thing.
The Face at the Window
Ha ha! It's only me. Hurrah / Bah Now open the airlock.
Dance, Little Puppet, Dance
Hup - ho - hey - ha! Hurrah / Bah It's no good, it needs a fresh soul.
Dear Old Cook
'Tis the baby's favourite, m'm. Hurrah / Bah Pop him in.
A Boyish Pursuit
Hurrah! Hurray! Wizard! Hurrah / Bah Gosh, it's fun to burn things.
The Motorcyclists
Your go next, Stiggins. Hurrah / Bah Let's play Lawr- ence of Arabia.
The Creeping Disquiet
I am a whimsical fiction. Hurrah / Bah I see you, reader.
The Memento
A perma- nent reminder of my dear one. Hurrah / Bah Ugh.
The Invisible Ray
It works! Hurrah / Bah Where the hell am I?
Baby's First Portrait
Watch the birdie! Hurrah / Bah Or follow my voice if it's taken both eyes.
Good Evening
Might I trouble you for a glass of water? Hurrah / Bah Only my wife is alight.
The Tiniest Cricketer Gets His Chance
"Christ's soupy beard."
Meeting the Neighbours
"Good lord! (Choke.) The working class!"
His Preparations Begin
Hurrah / Bah
"Give me every toy in the shop. Hurry - I'm on a deadline."
70... 80... 92mph
Hurrah / Bah
"Well, this is going to end badly."
The Flying Tramp
Hurrah / Bah
"Up, up and away!"
Stand and Deliver!
"You wouldn't be escaping so easily if I had a brace of pistols instead of this stick."
A Trip to the Theatre
That's your cape straight, wife. Hurrah / Bah Now to strangle you for the inherit- ance.
A Brisk Walk
Splendid, dignified exercise. Hurrah / Bah Ah! Another town for my plague.
A Medical Inspection
Your hearing is perfect. Hurrah / Bah But you have cancer. Of the head.
My Misunderstanding
That's right, I
did say my dog doesn't bite.
Hurrah / Bah But, you see, I'm a maniac.
Their Master Rethinks His Budget
You're saved from the glue factory. Hurrah / Bah Let's get you home to trample my child.
The Zookeeper's Demonstration
See how my anklet saves me. Hurrah / Bah Yes, I concede a gaun- tlet would be better.
The Governor's Dinner
I must leave: I've an execu- tion to stop. Hurrah / Bah Ooo, flan.
An Entertaining Accessory
Peep! Honk! Haha! Phweep! Hurrah / Bah Anyway, up on to the gallows, please.
His House Call
Fireman! Hurrah / Bah I've come
to drown you.
Beep, Beep
Well driven, Mr Perkins. Hurrah / Bah Back up, he's still moving.
Contemplating the Heavens
This spy- glass reveals each detail of the Lord's magnif- icent majesty. Hurrah / Bah Though perhaps my starting at noon was a mistake.
His View Of The Gorge
Splendid. Simply breath- taking. Hurrah / Bah And she's still not yet hit the bottom.
A Fairy-Tale Ending
Your carriage awaits, milady. Hurrah / Bah Well, you're the one casting spells on house- hold vermin, yer fat taffeta majesty.
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