This feature is concluded. |
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Ladies! Beware of the chap
Who entreats you to sit on his lap.
It may seem quite gay
In the style of the day
But it ends with you both in a flap. |
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Mr Wells, in his grand Time Machine
Was smart, young, adventurous and keen.
His unresolved flaw
And arrived back a line 'fore he'd been
Was he'd broken God's law. |
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"I must learn," gnawed the earl at his knuckle
"What's 'Mony a mickle maks a muckle'."
He spared no expense
But it still made no sense
So he took to his wife with a buckle. |
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Young Polly, improving herself,
Read every book on the shelf.
And now, as you'd think
She's wise, rich and drinks
And is sure she's a level four elf. |
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Escaping by rooftop, McCall
Swore arrogant vengeance on all.
But lions, ornamental,
Caught his foot in their dentals
And Pride, as is known, precedes Fall. |
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When the Blast sounds, will you and yours say
"Thank heavens! At last, Judgment Day!"
Or, "Hang on a spot - I can't find my sock"?
Arrange for a spare; don't delay. |
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A daring young man on trapeze
Once tumbled but missed with his knees.
As he flew to the ground
He felt honour-bound
To shout, "Clear the way, if you please." |
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A lady of quality, Rose,
Whose sweetness emboldens her foes
Receives at her place
Those who plot her disgrace
And nobody knows where they goes. |
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A gentleman suffering from blackouts
Was f
th for you!"
Said that gentleman suffering from blackouts. |
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Lost hunting for tigers, Lord Booth
Discovered the Fountain of Youth,
El Dorado, the Incas,
Atlantis, robed thinkers
And sixty-five women named Ruth. |
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1. This monkey's paw? Miss, stay your purse
For the novelty comes with a curse:
Whatever you wish
Tends to turn to a bish
And your better becomes quite your worse.
2. But she pooh-poohed the gent as a wimp:
Bared her soul to the segment of chimp:
Now awaits, in her room,
Inescapable doom
At the hand of an ape with a limp. |
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Laudanum! Let me drink deep
Of the haamaarimaaarimaaaa
Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Uuuuuuuummmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm. |
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