<<< The Weekly: Maintaining Britain's Standards
Policy of Privacy
As naturally do all RATIONAL BRITONS, the Science Combine would like to see spammers stabbed in the eyes with a hat-pin then their children set on fire. Meanwhile, the Combine can assure the The Weekly readers that lengths are pursued to BEDIM THEIR ELECTRO-PRESENCE. Accordingly, theweekly.co.uk:

Does not use cookies
At all.
Keeps tightly secret any e-mail address entrusted to it
Occasionally you may be asked for your e-mail address in order to for science to emit (for example, if subscribing, or applying for a Colloquium visiting card). In this case, your e-mail is shown only to the Combine. It shall not be divulged even if ruffians threaten to trample MR MILLINGTON with boots. "I would rather perish beneath trampling boots than see the The Weekly readers misused," said MR NASH, speaking for MR MILLINGTON yesterday.

Sometimes you may be asked for your e-mail address for a one-off emission of science (for example, when advocating a page, so the recipient knows whom to thank). In this case, your address is not stored, and is forgotten upon the instant the science is earthed.
Permits no personally identifying information in its reports
Like the toppling majority of ETHEREAL MAGAZINES, The Weekly compiles statistics of its readers, to determine the most popular pages, chuckle at a casual visitor's search terms, hunt down and destroy the dispiritingly inadequately educated wretches probing the magazine's server without even troubling to take the minimum pride in their work to check that their uncomprehendingly copied kit attacks are compatible with the The Weekly machinery, &c. These statistical sheafs are generated by the GENTLEMAN ENGINEERS of the established company One May Engage An Expert In This Field (who have thoughtfully made a demonstration sheaf available for inspection), and are seen in their entirety only by the Combine.

(Even if the report summaries were at some point in the world of tomorrow shown to other irreproachably trustworthy parties (for example, to demonstrate the invigorating popularity of MR MILLINGTON to persons wishing to have the sex with him), anything remotely approaching reader-identifying information (such as the domain name of your host, routinely examined by statistical-compilers everywhere, but still no more invasive than to tell us which company you engage to travel the WORLD TELEGRAPH NETTED-WORK, or whether you are a resident long-haired student layabout) would be carefully torn out.)
Retains no IP information without excellent reason
COLLOQUIUM: Readers who post messages in the The Weekly Colloquium have their IP address stored alongside the message. This is to prevent a hoaxer posing as another poster. The IP list cannot be seen by visitors, and shall be accessed by the Combine only in the event of a dispute.

ADVOCACY: Persons advocating a page of the magazine have their IP address noted. This is solely in case someone misuses the advocacy science, and this IP log, unexamined unless in such a happenstance, is deleted each week.

DAILY TOTALS: In addition to the main statistics, the Combine employs its own science for simple, daily totals of a page's readers. To prevent a visitor being counted more than once in ten minutes, which would dishonestly inflate the figures, their IP address is stored temporarily. These IP logs are never disclosed and are deleted each midnight.

DILEMMA: Persons who vote in the The Weekly Dilemma are logged in the identical, temporary manner to the DAILY TOTALS, to prevent ballot-stuffing.
The Weekly Science Combine would like your visits to the magazine to remain unmarred by worry and gnaws. If there is some facet of privacy undiscussed that troubles you, we shall endeavour to ease.
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